Depression Disclaimer...

Okay, so I received some e-mails and comments (forgive me for not posting them) from some wonderful folks who took issue with some things I said about depression in my post
The Hugging Place--To Remind You of His Presence. First, thank you so much for reading and visiting and generally encouraging me in my walk. It's humbling that you would return over and over! Second, I agree that depression is a multi-faceted plague and would never assume to know each and every face of it. I do, however, know how it worked in my own life. For me personally, and again, this is not meant to be applicable to every situation, I withdrew from the Lord and began to operate in my flesh and exposed myself to attack from the enemy. That's how it happened to me. What I know now, is the truth about about myself, and I know the truth because the Lord has shown it to me. It was never my intention to instruct or exhort anyone else suffering from depression. If you are suffering with depression, please, please, please seek help from a member of your pastoral staff or someone equipped to give you God-centered counsel. It is a tough road, but one I know from experience Christ will walk with you.

Finally, if you left a comment for me or e-mailed me with your concerns, I am simply not going to post them because I believe it would take away from the scriptural emphasis of the post. The post was not about depression--I simply used my own experience with depression as an example. If that has offended anyone, I ask your forgiveness. My desire is for the Lord Jesus to be glorified.

The Hugging Place--He Is Your Father

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand. When I awake, I am still with You. Psalm 139:13-16

I used to really struggle with the idea of God being a father figure. My own father had abandoned us when I was a child and when I re-connected with him as an adult, it was literally on his death bed. I have the most vivid impression of him being a lonely, broken man; a man ruined and ravaged by sin. I was too young in my faith to even begin knowing how to share Christ with him. I just remember feeling that sin had robbed him and me of something better, something more. So, as I grew in my understanding of God, I had a hard time addressing Him as my Father. My exposure to a father had been negative and I didn’t want to associate those feelings with God.

But, God had another plan. When Charlie and I became parents, God replaced all of those negative feelings and memories with positive, God-centered experiences through my husband. Watching him share the Word with them and tenderly lead them in the ways of the Lord restored my ideas of fatherhood. I began to understand how God could be my Father, and in fact, had probably spared me the cruelty of a dysfunctional father-daughter relationship by allowing my earthly father to leave us. He also began to gently reveal His Fatherhood in my own heart. He never pushed or forced His way in, but carefully opened my heart with His grace and mercies.

In these six verses of Psalm 139, we see a glimpse of God’s tenderness towards us. He is our Father, not just a far-off God. He was intimately involved in every aspect of our becoming. He was there when we were just chemicals. He swirled those chemicals together in a fantastic way that made each of us unique and special. He had a specific outcome in mind when He fashioned each of us and He took great pleasure in doing so. He is so proud of us!

We need to be in the “Hugging Place,” in the place where we are simply enjoying the pleasure of God’s presence so He can remind us that He is our Father. If you had a great relationship with your earthly Father, no doubt you have fond memories of hanging out with him, listening to him, learning from him, being challenged by him, being encouraged by him. God wants to do that with you, too. If, like me, you don’t have those kind of warm memories of an earthly father, then all the more reason to allow God to show you what His Fatherhood is all about. You and I need to replace our negative images with holy ones.

In these verses, David praises God for the way he is made; for God’s sovereignty in his design and creation. We need to spend time praising God in this way, as well. Too often, we allow the world and society to define the image we have of ourselves. When we spend time with the Lord, the One whose design for us is perfect, we begin to see ourselves the way He does: beautiful, wonderful, precious, His…Our negative thoughts are replaced by thoughts of God’s love for us. And, He does love us…Oh, how He loves us!



Thank You, Father, for being just that--my Father. Thank You for all the ways You have encouraged me, taught me, held me, loved me. Help me to receive Your authority in my life. Help me to understand You more and more. I love you! In Jesus' name, Amen.

The Hugging Place--To Remind You Of His Presence

Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven, You are there; if I make my bed is Sheol, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Your right hand will lay hold of me. If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be the night,” even the darkness is not night to You, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to You. Psalm 139:7-12

After our youngest child was born, I descended into depression. It had been hovering overhead like a black storm cloud, waiting to envelope me. The combination of a new baby and powerful hormones did me in. I felt as if I were in a fog, struggling to see my own hand in front of my face. While hormones and the stress of adding another child to two already small children played some part in my struggle, the biggest component of my depression was my unwillingness to simply fall at God’s feet and abide in His presence. Looking back, I can see now that He was always there, holding me and loving me. At the time, I was just unwilling to see beyond my narrow view, to see just past my circumstances to my Salvation, my Hope. The enemy had convinced me to wander out, away from God’s protective wings, and then he pounced. I felt cut off and alone, desperately fighting the flood of emotions that were trying to drown me and silence my testimony.

As we look at the next passage of Psalm 139, we see David’s reminder that we are not alone. There is nowhere we can go—not even death—where God cannot reach us. He is Emmanuel—God with us. I think we say this so flippantly, without stopping to think about what it means that God chooses to abide with us. He is with you:

When the mail brings an unexpected bill to a negative bank balance.
When your husband or wife speaks words that hurt.
When you’re up pacing the floors with a colicky baby, unable to provide comfort or relief.
When the car won’t start, the washer overflows, the roof begins to leak.

He is with us. Always. Forever. There is nothing you can do or not do, say or not say, be or not be, that will make God desert or forsake you. He loves you. He loves you. He loves you.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

We need to spend time in God’s presence each day to be reminded of that love. We need it. Absence makes the heart wander. We were made to worship the Living God. If we don’t spend time with Him daily, our hearts wander off in search of something else to worship. And the enemy is waiting, enticing us with a variety of idols: self-importance, self-sufficiency, self-empowerment to name a common few.

Nothing can separate you and me from God. As we spend time with Him today, let’s thank Him for His personal presence and let’s ask the Lord to continue showing us all the ways He is with us.

Father, thank You for being with me…today and each day and each moment of my life. Help me to turn to you faster when troubles come along. Remind me that no thing You have made—and You have made all things—can keep me from You unless I choose to let it. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

The Hugging Place--Because He Knows You

O Lord, You have searched me and known me. You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thoughts from afar. You scrutinize my path and my lying down, and are intimately acquainted with all my ways. Even before there is a word on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it all. You have enclosed me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is too high, I cannot attain it. Psalm 139:1-6

Why does God desire to spend time with us? After all, He’s God. He doesn’t get lonely or depressed or need company. He doesn’t need to unwind or vent His frustrations or cry on our shoulders. What does God get out of our time with Him?

Me. You. That’s what He gets. And, that’s exactly what He wants. Of all the beautiful things and wonders His hands have made, you and I are most precious to Him. Of all His creation, we were chosen to reflect His image and given free will to worship Him, to know Him and His will.

My kids were asking me what I want for my birthday this year. I told them I wanted a day with them, just spending time together and enjoying each other. They looked at each other, then my oldest daughter said, “But what present do you want, Mommy?” She didn’t understand that I, as her mom, just want the gift of time with her. I want to hang out with her, enjoying who she is. And, I want her to know me and how very much I love her. It’s the same with the Lord. He already knows every detail of our lives. He wants us to come to Him, whatever condition we’re in, and fellowship with Him.

That knowledge is too wonderful! Let it sink in for a moment: the God of our universe, Master, Maker, Savior wants to hang out with you. There is nothing else He would rather do or place He would rather be. He’s never busy or tired or sick or preoccupied. He is always available to you. Spending time with God accomplishes two things:
God reveals Himself to you.
God reveals that He knows everything about you.

Today, spend time with your Lord and Savior, Jesus. Just hang out with Him. Talk to Him. Tell Him what you are thinking and feeling and hurting over and wondering about. Be still before Him and wait for Him to answer. Don’t be in a hurry. Rest in the knowledge that He is before you and behind you and in complete control.

Lord, Jesus, thank You for being with me. Thank You for knowing everything about me—things I don’t even know myself. Help me to rest in the beauty of Your control over my life. Help me to rest in You. In Your precious name, Amen.

The Hugging Place

My kids have different personalities (no big surprise there!) and so I relate to them differently. Emma, our oldest, is strong-willed. She’s always willing to take the lead and take charge, even when she isn’t sure where she is going. Emotionally, she’s a lot like me. She can be sensitive to what others say…about her, about others. She enjoys affection, but isn’t overly emotional. Ruthie, our middle daughter, is all emotion. It can be a great thing—she gives spontaneous hugs and kisses everywhere and all the time. She is sunshine and rainbows. She can also hold our family hostage as we weather her temper tantrums. More than once, we’ve been late to an event as we wait for her to finish crying over her shoes and socks or her jacket or her seatbelt or, or, or…

Our little Olivia is a combination of her older sisters, while still being uniquely, “Olivia.” Recently, she has been a devoted “Mama’s girl,” jealously guarding her spot on my lap and hollering, “My mommy! My mommy!” if any other child (including her sisters) dares wander into her territory. She adores my hugs and kisses and tickle sessions in a way the other girls didn’t. In fact, she seems to crave the affection, and I have been reveling in this stage of her life, knowing it will not last forever.

We have a spot, Olivia and I, where we come together for ritualistic cuddling. After her nap, when I hear she has awakened, I go to her room to rescue her from her bed. I change her diaper and wash my hands and then we meet at the top step. Each day, she turns to me with her arms outstretched and says, “Hold you, Mommy.” I scoop her up and we sit down. I stroke her hair and she hugs my neck. I tell her I love her and she says, “I love you, too.” I kiss her head and she rubs my arm. It’s only for a moment, but it’s one of my favorites of the day.

Today, after I carried her down the stairs and she wandered off to play with her sisters, I thought about our ritual moment. She always seems desperate and yearning for the affection, almost as if she needs reassurance that I love her. She needs me and I am always willing to lavish her with love. Questions came to my heart:
Am I yearning for God? Am I desperate for Him? Do I need Him and acknowledge that need to Him?

If we are believers, if we have placed our trust and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, don’t we all have a desperate, daily need for His affections?

O God, You are my God; I shall seek You earnestly; my soul thirsts for You, my flesh yearns for You, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. Psalm 63:1

Are we yearning for God, leaning into our days and nights and joy and pain with outstretched hands saying, “Hold me, Father?”

At night, my soul longs for You, indeed my spirit within me seeks You diligently. Isaiah 26:9a

I call the spot at the top of our stairs “The Hugging Place,” because that’s where Olivia demands and I grant her desire for affection and attention. Do we have spiritual “hugging places,” places where we stop and request God’s loving presence, allowing the Spirit to wash over us and make us new? Places where we are refreshed, renewed, reminded of His great love? Places where we simply abide in Him and He in us? He is so happy to indulge…
“But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord your Redeemer.” Isaiah 54:8b

This week, I’ll be spending time in the “hugging place,” exploring why God wants us to meet Him there and what we can expect from Him. Hope you’ll join me!