176, thump, thump

We had our first ultrasound today and, thankfully, all is well in watery womb-world. For the last week or so, I've been plagued (maybe attacked) with thoughts that perhaps something was wrong with this pregnancy, or that because it's been a little harder to get excited about child #4 (gulp. We're going to have 4, count them f-o-u-r children!), my lack of enthusiasm would affect the health of this child. Satan was whispering little lies in my ear...

Just exactly how are you going to take care of a newborn and three other children under the age of 7?

Do you really think you can afford another baby?

You are over 35. There could be something really, really functionally wrong with this child, you know.

If you think you're busy now, just wait until this Fall!

What will people think when they see you with a whole van load of children? What a sight that will be!

You should be more excited like you were in your first pregnancy. Maybe you don't deserve another baby.

That's how the enemy works. He uses just enough of the truth to make his argument believable, but leaves out the crucial truth God promises in His Word. He's selling hopelessness and despair, and sometimes (I'm embarrassed to admit how many times) I buy it. I start believing those arguments I hear in my head. They sound like good arguments, and when I'm operating in the flesh, they are the only arguments I hear.

This morning, I realized I could spend the day in fear of what might be, or I could ground myself in the love of what is. What is, is God loves me and cares for me and has chosen me as His own. Each of the lies being whispered to me have an answer...

Just exactly how are you going to take care of a newborn and three other children under the age of 7? Probably the same way I took care of each of the others. In prayer and in constant dependence on the Lord. I don't know how to do it now because I don't need to know how to do it. When this baby is born, I will learn like I have the last three times. It will be challenging, but not impossible. With God all things are possible. Matthew 19:26b

Do you really think you can afford another baby? Well, truthfully, no. I've never thought we could "afford" any of our babies. But all that we have is the Lord's and if He created this baby, then He has provided the resources for his or her life. I may not see those resources yet, but they are already there. He owns cattle on a thousand hill and He will take care of us. Psalm 50:10

You are over 35. There could be something really, really functionally wrong with this child, you know. Yes, I am aware of the statistics. I am aware that I am older (believe me I am aware!). But, Sarah was almost 100 when she conceived Isaac and God had a beautiful plan for his life. And, so what if this child has special needs? If the Lord chooses us to be parents to one of His children who needs special love and consideration, that is His choice and it is the BEST choice for us, not the worst. For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare, not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

If you think you're busy now, wait until the Fall! Okay, this is a tough one because I am really busy and it's hard to think of being busier and existing on less sleep. But, we have another 6 1/2 months to think of ways to streamline our home and teach our older kids to take on more responsibilities. Instead of thinking of this as a negative, this can be a really positive opportunity for our family to grow. It's also a wonderful lesson in servant hood for our children, as they learn what it means to sacrifice for each other in time, possessions and acts of service. Love one another just as I have loved you. John 13:34

What will people think when they see you with a whole van load of children? What a sight that will be?! Yes, what a sight! The sight of four well kept, well loved, mannerly, clean, appropriately dressed, well fed, behaving children would be a sight in today's society! I hope that when others see our family, they will know that there is something different, something remarkable, something Christ-like about our family and they would be attracted to that something. And you shall be my witnesses...even to the remotest parts of the world. Acts 1:8

You should be more excited like you were in your first pregnancy. Maybe you don't deserve another baby. It's true I'm not as excited about this pregnancy. Let's face it...the mystery is gone. I know how these nine months play out and I'm not all that excited about gaining weight, losing energy and all the other discomforts of pregnancy. Who get excited about that? But it's part of living in a fallen world and I can't change God's plan for pregnancy or childbirth. What I can change is my attitude. Instead of cursing each and every ache and pain and pound, I can thank God for the reason I'm experiencing them. And as for deserving a baby...if I ever develop an attitude of entitlement with my children, I have great, great problems in my relationship with the Lord! I don't deserve anything the Lord has given to me in this life, but I am grateful for every good thing He has blessed me with. Every good and perfect gift comes from above. James 1:17

The key to combating the lies of the enemy is knowing the Truth of the Word. If you, tonight, are reading this and are struggling with half-truths whispered in your ears and to your heart, get into the Word. Combat the enemy with Truth. There is great power in the Word of God. Take the lies and confront them with the Truth. It's uplifting and heart-changing, and balm for our souls.

Thank You, Jesus, for the Word. For the Truth that is You. For the way You provide to combat the lies of our enemy. Thank You for the peace that comes with the Truth. Thank You for heartbeats and new life and for being Emmanuel to me today. Thank You for being with Your children in ultrasounds and x-ray rooms and chemotherapy treatment centers and operating rooms. With us in palaces and mud huts and mortgaged homes and trailers. With us in sickness and health in wealth and poverty and happy days and days of mourning. With us, for us, before us, behind us...God with us. In Your Name, Amen