You're six today and off with Dad watching fireworks. He watched fireworks with me, too, the night before you were born. You are somewhat of a fire cracker yourself. Surprising, illuminating, beautiful. I'm so glad you were born!

Happy Birthday, Roo!

Firsts and Lasts

Emma is at school today.
Even re-reading that sentence gives me a lump in the back of my throat. After lots of prayer and discussion, Charlie and I have chosen to enroll her in our church's small, private Christian school this Fall. So, today she is having a visiting day to meet her teacher and see what a day at school is like--though the end-of-school spirit was palpable when we drove up! She seems so mature and grown-up at home, but she looked so small and vulnerable as I was walking away. It took all my energy not to scoop her up and smother her with hugs and kisses. I was guessing that even in a small, safe, Christian environment that wasn't quite the right response:)
I've given a lot of thought to what sort of schedule we will have to adhere to in the Fall and this morning I decided to try it out. This is what I've discovered after only one morning:
1. Get up earlier--both me and the kids.
2. Go to bed earlier--both me and the kids.
3. Make sure there is gas in the van the night before.
4. Pray, pray, pray.

Emma was really excited when we told her about school. She is bright and eager to learn and I have every confidence that she will do exceptionally well next year. Still, it was hard to watch my "baby" settle in for learning somewhere other than home. I've really spent a lot of time praying that God will help me trust His leading. This is the right decision for her and for all of us. It's just hard to let go.

But, I am excited about the possibility of focusing more intently on Ruthie's studies next year and so is she. At first, she was put out that she wouldn't be at school as well, but when I explained that she would have my undivided attention all week long, she lit up. I know she's been craving "mommy time" for awhile now. She's been working on a list of things she'd like to do next year. Many of them are things Emma does now, but she's beginning to come up with her own ideas:
1. Type the grocery list each week.
2. Learn to make bread.
3. Walk the dog.
4. Read a chapter book.
5. Learn all the books of the Bible.
6. Study Esther.
7. Dance.
8. Do harder math.
9. Write letter to people in our family.
10. Go to the zoo....a lot!
I think we can accommodate all those items and then some!

Anyway, today is about firsts and lasts and while I am feeling a little sentimental about this summer being our last one with all the kids in home school, I am so excited about all the firsts the future holds as well. We're trusting in the Lord with all our hearts and trying very hard not to lean on our own understanding, acknowledging Him in all our ways as best we can, knowing He is directing our paths. (Proverbs 3)

Crazy Cousins

Blast From The Past

Here are our two oldest girls, wearing coats that originally belonged to my mother and her sister and were also worn by my two cousins. They were so careful with the coats Sunday as they trotted off to church. I know my mom and aunt will get a kick out of seeing their coats again!

Cousins

What could be more fun than four cousins, all dressed in pink, celebrating a birthday?!

Four

Most days, I hit the ground running (literally), just hurtling through our day and trying to juggle the demands of our home, marriage, children, ministry. I don't have time to stop and think about what I'm doing or what it looks like or whether it's perfect or not. I just move from one thing or person or need or cry or spill or boo-boo to the next.

But, now and then, I catch my breath and it hits me:

I have four children. One, two, three, four.

Four little bodies piled in my lap for story time.
Eights hands and eight feet to wash each night.
Four bellies to fill several times a day.
Four extra beds to make.
At least 24 pairs of shoes to keep track of.
Four loads of laundry most day.
Four bedtime kisses to give and receive.
Four little wonders to place at the feet of Jesus each morning and ask for His protection and wisdom as we journey homeward.

Four children.

It takes my breath away...and sometimes my sleep. And usually all of my energy.

But, it's four more than I ever dreamed possible a decade ago. And, I'd take four more if it meant even an ounce more love would flow through this happy heart of mine.

Thank You, God, for these four. And for so much more...Amen.

Merry Christmas to You!

The Christmas card I would send to make you think my children are adorable, loving and always well-behaved...



And, the Christmas card I would send if I wanted to tell the truth...



Merry Christmas to you all!!!

Fall Fun

Last weekend, we had our kids' favorite friends over for some fun while their mama got some much needed rest and recuperation time. Charlie wins "Dad-o-the Year" award for his efforts to entertain them. Our tree was greedily holding onto her beautiful yellow leaves and the kids were begging to rake leaves and jump in piles of crunchy foliage.

So what does my inventive husband do? He dragged a GIGANTIC blue tarp down the alley and raked the neighbors leaves onto the tarp. He then dragged the heavy-laden plastic back to our yard and piled the leaves high for jumping and tossing and general frolicking. What a guy!

So, the kids enjoyed a beautiful, warm Fall day and here's the proof...

The Pumpkin Patch

It's hard to tell which pumpkins are cuter.

Oh, who am I kidding? My pumpkins are the cutest in the patch!

Happy Family

Today, with the help of my best friend, we had our first family shoot with the newest member--"Baby Samuel"--as he has been dubbed. And, I've just typed my first one-handed blog post!

First Day of School-2008

As I've mentioned before, we home school. One of the many advantages of homeschooling is that you have the freedom to arrange your school calendar to fit your own family's needs. This year, with a new baby coming in mid-September, we opted to begin our school year the first full week of August. This will (hopefully!) give us about six weeks to get our school year rolling and then enough cushion that we can still finish our curriculum by the end of May.



For us, the deciding factor in choosing to home school (other than pure obedience to God's calling for our family) is the opportunity to pour the Word of God into their little hearts and heads. Children are sponges and they soak up whatever they are exposed to. We began to get excited thinking about all the ways we could share the love of Christ with them and encourage them in the Lord! One tool we are implementing this year is called "Memory Madness." It's really a program designed to be used in a church setting, but we have been able to tweak it to fit our family's needs. The basic premise is that children are given a "mission" which consists of ten scripture verses, grouped topically. Each week, they are assigned a verse or verses for memory work. They are then quizzed over the verses until they are able to recite all ten verses from memory. Once they have completed their "mission," they receive a prize of some sort. Our prizes will take the form of special activities, books, games, puzzles etc. A great side-benefit is that Charlie and I will be learning the scripture right along with the kids! Also, each scripture is a basic, fundamental truth or promise from the Word, so there are lots of opportunities for application as we learn.



________________



Growing up, my mom always took a picture of us on the front porch the first day of school. While our kids aren't rushing off to catch the bus, I still like the idea of a "first-day-of-school" photo opportunity! Seems like just yesterday they were babies and school was a long way off...they are growing up so fast!

Famous

This photo was in our local paper this week and features two of our kiddos plus their bestest buds as part of a VBS program put on by a church in the community. When I showed the girls, Emma said, "Oh! I guess the newspaper people wanted to show everyone some kids that really love Jesus so everyone would know they should love Jesus, too."

Man, I love that girl!

If...

If bread dough somehow makes its' way into your washer and also into your dryer, you will have sheets and pillowcases glued together. And, the bread dough can't be removed.

If you get distracted and forget to put the toothpaste away in the children's bathroom, you will return to find the mirror, sink, window, and toilet seat decorated with dried-on-tough-to-scrape-off-bubble-gum-scented toothpaste.

If you take your three small children, one large dog and one small dog on a walk, one of them is going to run away. And, if that "one of them" is the beloved favorite family pet, you will then have three crying, wailing children and a long chase that ensues.

If you read "Hansel and Gretel" before going to the grocery store and then hand out snacks to keep little hands and mouths busy through the store, eventually a grocery store employee will ask you to please put away the peanuts and raisins because you have left a trail six aisles behind you.

If your two year old tells people she has a baby in her tummy and that her father (she means "God-her Father") put it there, people will give you dirty looks.

If you teach your oldest child to use the telephone for emergency purposes, "emergency" will come to be defined in her mind as anything that crosses her mind as a reason to pick up said telephone, including calling her best friend to ask her what color socks she is wearing while you are taking a shower.

It's been an interesting week!

Thank You, Lord for even the interesting moments. Thank You for granting me both patience and a sense of humor, though I don't always recognize them instantly. Forgive me for the times I've sighed or been cross or rolled my eyes this week. Help me to appreciate the sweetness of wee ones underfoot and overhead and in my lap and under my skin. Help me to love them the way You do. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Two Lions

Yesterday, I stopped by our local gas station and let the girls each pick out a drink. They have some yummy 100% fruit juices (at ridiculous prices!) that we very occasionally treat them to. As we were unloading the van, Emma and Ruthie were having some sort of heated argument that resulted in tears for Ruthie. As the older two emerged from the van, I asked Ruthie why she was crying...

Ruthie: Emma's lying!
Emma: No I'm not, Ruthie! You just don't know as much about the Bible as I do!
Ruthie: Yes I do!
Mommy: Okay, Ruthie, what do you think Emma is lying about?
Ruthie: I said that Jesus is the lion in the Bible, but Emma said Satan is a lion, too. She's lying because Satan can't be the same thing as Jesus!
Mommy: (thinking...) Well, Ruthie, you are both right. You're right because Jesus and Satan can never be the same thing. Jesus is God and Satan was made by God. But, Emma is right, too. The Bible does describe both Jesus and Satan as lions.
Ruthie: Huh?
Mommy: Jesus is the King Lion. He is like the protector of the forest and of all the creatures in the forest. His job is to protect us and God describes Him as a lion because He is so mighty and powerful. Nothing can destroy Him. God also describes Satan as a lion but not as a protector lion. He is described as a sneaking, prowling lion, trying to steal and kill and destroy. That lion doesn't care about anything but himself and wants to hurt everyone. So, they are both lions but very, very different lions. God wants us to know which lion we should follow.
All three girls: The King Lion! Jesus!

We closed the van doors and turned to walk into the gas station. As I turned, the man who had been cleaning the parking lot was standing a few feet away with tears streaming down his face. He softly said, "Thank you. I really needed to hear that today. I needed to know they are both lions." Then he turned and walked away.

I was completely stunned. I don't know this man's story or anything about him other than that he works at the gas station near my home. But, God used an argument with my girls to remind him and teach us that He really is the King Lion, guarding us and protecting us. As we walked into the gas station, Ruthie said, "Do you think that man knows Jesus?"

Yes, honey, I do. I think he just needed to remember what Jesus' job really is.

Thank You, Lord. For juice at the gas station, for arguments that are about You and Your character, for allowing us to be used for Your purposes. Thank You for being such a mighty lion on our behalf...and for being so much more. In Jesus' name...Amen.

The Funnest Days Ever!

I've been down with bronchitis and a sinus infection (so maybe I'm not quite back to the land of the living yet!). Things have been pretty loose (to say the least!) around our house. I've tried to keep up with our regular schedule, but I've also let a LOT of things really slide.

Tonight, our wonderful, generous friends invited all three girls out for pizza so I could get a shower and a nap (Praise the Lord for the simple gestures!). When they returned home, I told them they could watch a movie before bedtime if they hurried to put on jammies. As I was collecting the scattered shoes and clothes left in the wake of their excitement, I overheard this conversation:

Ruthie: These have been the funnest days ever!
Emma: Yeah, we got to eat pizza and fruit snacks and ice cream and cereal for dinners.
Ruthie: Uh-huh. And we also got to watch movies and cartoons and play on the computer and build forts.
Emma: And, we didn't have to take a bath or go to bed on time or make our beds.
Ruthie: But, we did have to brush our teeth.
Emma: (sighing) And, we did have to take our vitamins and drink our milk.
Ruthie: Do you think Mommy will be sick tomorrow?
Emma: I don't know.
Ruthie: I hope so 'cause these are the funnest days ever!
Emma: Ruthie! Daddy said we should pray for Mommy to be healed, not to be sick.
Ruthie: I wasn't going to pray for her to be sick...just that we could have one more day for cartoons and ice cream!

Grace For My Four Year Old

"It isn't fair!" little Ruthie implored.
"What's not fair?" I replied.
"Olivia gets to have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and I don't want to eat Spanish rice!"
"Do you know why we are letting Olivia eat something different?"
"No."
"We want Olivia to enjoy sitting at the table with us as a family. And, we want her to learn good table manners and learn to eat bigger amounts of food."
"But it still isn't fair! She's getting what I want and it isn't fair!" And with that, Ruthie's eyes welled with tears and her lips began to quiver. In her little world, dinner had turned into a social injustice of sorts and she was getting the proverbial short end of the stick.

I could see things from her perspective. Here was her little, baby sister getting her way (again) and she was being forced to follow a different set of rules. A set of rules she didn't particularly like or agree with. But, they are rules she understands and is capable of following. As I sat on the couch with my pouting 4-year-old, trying to explain why we extend grace in various forms to each child, I had that funny experience we all have as believing parents. I could already hear that little whisper in my heart, "Come away with Me so we can talk about this. I have some things to show you about My grace."

After I settled Ruthie back at the table, I escaped to the desk and my Bible to listen more intently. I was drawn to the parable of the landowner and the vineyard (Matthew Chapter 20:1-16) who went looking for workers to work his land. He promised each of three groups of laborers a denarius for their work. The problem came when each group of workers was paid at the end of the day. Upon seeing their fellow workers--who had only worked an hour--receive a denarius, the first group of workers--who had worked all day--believed they would be paid more. But that was not the case. Each worker received equal pay. Equal pay for unequal work. Hmmm...my brain was letting that one sink in. Then these words caught my eye:

"Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with what is my own? Or is your eye envious because I am generous?" Matthew 20:15

Oooohhhh. That's such a great question! Am I envious of God's generosity with others? Am I jealous of the particular grace He washes others in because He doesn't bathe me in the same manner? I thought back to my conversation with Ruthie. I had explained to her that Olivia is only two and so we extend grace to her because she isn't able to follow as many rules or understand all of our meal time rules yet. I shared with her that when she was two, we also excused her from eating everything the rest of us ate at meal time and focused on making sure she could enjoy meal time and develop manners for meals. She smiled at that and then asked, "But, why do I have to follow different rules?" I told her that she was older and smarter and able to understand more rules so Daddy and I hold her accountable to different rules. I could tell she wasn't entirely thrilled with my answer or explanation, but she was no longer pouting. We prayed together and thanked God for the food He had provided and asked God to help Ruthie obey at the table. She hugged me and apologized and skipped back to the table.

Staring at the black and white of the Word, I started wondering if I've been pouting like my four-year-old. Do I run to God crying because I see Him being generous to someone else in an area I'd like to have more blessings in? I came up with a little list...well, at least the things I'm willing to admit:

Pregnancy. Some of my friends love being pregnant. They literally glow and are just happy being "with child." They don't swell or gain too much weight or get crabby or have backaches or sore feet or headaches. It's an enjoyable experience for them.
Finances. God is completely faithful to meet each and every need we have and even some of our wants, but we live prayercheck to prayercheck. It's hard to see others blessed with opportunities to purchase furniture, new cars, new clothes, and vacations.
Teaching Gifts. This is a struggle for me, especially as we home school. Some of the people I'm closest with (including my husband!) have amazing gifts of teaching and are able to really explain information to others. This is not one of my areas of strength.

There are other areas I struggle with, but these are ones I think God is pointing out right now. Just like Ruthie, instead of focusing on obeying the Lord and enjoying the tremendous grace He has poured out on me, I'm focusing on areas in which I think He has short-changed me. But He hasn't short-changed me at all! Just the opposite:

But You, O Lord are a God merciful and gracious,
Slow to anger and abundant in lovingkindness and truth.
Turn to me, and be gracious to me;
Oh grant Your strength to Your servant,
And save the son of Your handmaid.
Psalm 86:15-16

God is loving and just and kind and merciful and truthful. In my own human-ness, I don't see the big picture. I don't see why He extends grace to others and not to me in particular areas. And I don't need to.
What I do need to see is that He is my Father and that His love for me and ways for me are perfect. He offers grace to me in each breath He gifts to me.

Lord, God, give me the grace to live each moment of each day for You. Help me to walk in obedience to You. Give me strength and be gracious unto me. In Your Name, Amen.

The Beautiful Home

Our pastor's father passed away a few days ago, so tonight we went to the funeral home to pay our respects. We didn't really want to take the girls with us, but couldn't find a sitter and didn't want to let that get in the way of showing our love to our beloved pastoral family. As we were getting the girls out of the van, Ruthie said, "Are we at the 'beautiful home'?" I said, "You mean the 'funeral home'?" "No, beautiful!" she answered, "You said Pastor Dave's daddy knows Jesus, so it's beautiful 'cause now he's in heaven!"

I love my kids.

Shoe Shopping

We went shoe shopping today. Charlie called to say he was meeting a co-worker for lunch, so I seized the extra hour to take the girls out for a quick lunch and to buy shoes.

If you have wee ones and they are old enough to have an opinion about anything at all, you know what I mean when I say I had to brace myself. This is the third time I've ventured to shop for shoes, alone. The first time was so disastrous, I ended up tossing all the shoes onto a shelf lined with Lysol products as I dragged all three of my screaming, crying girls out of the store. It was embarrassing, to say the least! The second time, I thought I was more prepared, but we ended up with three pair of shoes that fit well, but none of the girls were able to put said shoes on themselves. It was a long six months of torture each time we wanted to leave the house or play outside.

Today, I explained to the girls that we were going to buy new shoes, (which met with a chorus of whooping and hollering---yep, they're girls!) but that we needed to establish some rules for the expedition. First, everyone was going to stay in the same aisle--no wandering around the entire shoe section. Two, everyone had to find a pair of shoes that fit well--not too tight, not too loose. Third, everyone had to be able to put their own shoes on without assistance. Fourth, no one was allowed to try on a pair of shoes without showing the price tag to Mommy first and getting permission to consider them. Fifth, if anyone started crying (including Mom!), we were leaving the store without shoes.

Surprisingly, the trip went well! Olivia found a pair right away--pink and brown Dora shoes. Emma first chose a pair of brown and red loafer-type shoes, but they were too hard to get on. She happily settled for a very cute pair of black, embroidered casual shoes with sturdy rubber soles. Ruthie took the longest. She just likes to try on every shoe in her size to see what it looks like. After sorrowfully returning a very cute--but out of season--pair of sandals to the shelf, she spied a pair of Strawberry Shortcake light-up shoes. They fit and were easy to put on. We finished our shoe shopping in less than 30 minutes--a Henze Family record!!!

Normally, I wouldn't advocate buying much of anything at Wal-Mart. I personally detest shopping there. But, this is a small town, we had very limited time and funds and really, no other viable options. They are, after all, growing girls who will very soon need yet another pair of shoes. I can't manage to part with upwards of $50 per pair of shoes from other more reputable stores. I prefer to shop for other things at those stores, but dislike spending so much on an item that will be quickly outgrown and cast aside. For about $45, I was able to shoe all three girls today--$5 under budget!

Thanks, Lord, for the means to buy something small like new shoes. And thanks for the privilege of seeing my girls so happy with such a small things, to see them grateful for what they have and to hear them thanking You on their own for what You have given. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Here Come the Brides!

My folks got the girls aprons for Christmas. They actually have quite a collection of them already! They use them as props for several play time activities. Today, they were mommies who bake cookies, super heroes and brides--but, sans grooms because boys can sometimes be icky!

Leading Us Home

Ruthie was helping me set the table for breakfast this morning.
I love our new Sunday morning routine. We used to get up really early, race around the house to get ready for 8:30 worship, bark orders at the kids and occasionally each other, and toss a granola bar at each child in the back of the van. It was stressful and I usually spent half of worship giving over all the ugly words and thoughts I'd had that morning. Then, we'd have to apologize to each other and the kids after church. It was nice to have more of the day free, but we spent most of that extra time seeking forgiveness! We finally decided it was healthier to sleep in a bit and have a more relaxed morning and attend 11:00 AM worship. It was a hard sell for me, because I felt like we were wasting time, but after two weeks, I could see the fruit of a slower-paced Sunday morning.
Anyway, Ruthie was helping me set the table for the once-a-week breakfast we all eat together. She carried in the silverware and the cups of milk and juice; the vitamins and the napkins. As I filled each plate with banana bread, fruit and steaming hot scrambled eggs, she would carefully carry it to the place I directed...Olivia...Ruthie...Emma...and so on. When it came to Charlie's plate I said, "And for our leader." Ruthie gave me a funny look and said her new favorite word, "Huh?!" I explained, "Daddy is the leader of our home." She gave me a funny look and then carried the plate to his spot at the head of the table.

A little later in the day, I saw her carrying two antique suitcases into her room.
"Ruthie, babe, what are you doing?"
"Packing."
"Hmmm. Where are you going?"
"With Daddy."
"Where is Daddy going?"
"Home."
Thinking...
"Honey, we're already home."
"No we aren't."
"We're not?"
"Nope."
"Where is home?"
"Heaven, silly. With Jesus."
"Ohhhh. So, why are you packing to go to heaven?"
"Well, Daddy is leading us home, so I think we might need to take some things for the trip. I want to help!"
"What?"
"You know, like you said this morning, 'Daddy is leading us home.' I told my Sunday School teacher Daddy was taking us on a trip to heaven and I needed to go home and pack my suitcases."
(Mental note to self: Call the Sunday School teacher as soon as this conversation is over!)
"That's very thoughtful, sweetheart. I think, though, we need to talk about this trip..."

Thank You, Lord, that you have a place ready for us, prepared for us to worship You and exalt You. Thank You for sweet Ruthie, who was ready and willing to follow her earthly dad to the place where our Eternal Dad is and will always be. Thanks for using her to remind me that this world is not my home, but rather, a place to learn and grow and wait for You to come for me or call me Home. Thank You for giving me a husband who is following You as You lead us onward and homeward. Thank You...In Jesus' Name, Amen.