Clothed In Righteousness

We stripped wallpaper tonight. Ahem...husband stripped wallpaper, wife watched and encouraged and tried not to irritate husband. Anyway, as we are preparing to have our roof replaced, we've been taking down all the wallpaper in the house to be sure we know exactly where the roof has leaked. As Charlie was taking the wallpaper down in the master bedroom, one wall became particularly messy. With each strip of wallpaper he removed, chunks of the plaster also came tumbling down. By the end of the night, one huge section of the wall was missing and the bare lathe was exposed...what an unsightly mess! I found myself wishing we had left well enough alone and kept the wallpaper on the wall, hiding the entire problem.

I tend to think that way spiritually, too. I like things to look pretty and neat and perfect on the outside, when in reality, an unsightly spiritual condition is lurking underneath. As an example (one of many, many others), when we discovered I was pregnant with our third child, I was gripped with panic from the very beginning. I was starting to realize how much work our two toddlers already were and now, we were adding another little person to the mix. Panic turned to despair; despair gave way to anger; anger swelled into full-blown depression. I didn't pray. I didn't read my Bible. A dark, ominous cloud always hovered over my thoughts, coloring every situation an ugly grey. I was consumed. But, I did a very good job of keeping my depression a secret. I put on a smile and acted as if everything was alright. Some days, I even fooled myself!

When Olivia was born, the cloud moved off into the distant horizon for a bit. We had been blessed with another beautiful daughter and I thought the depression would disappear in the face of such blessedness. I was wrong. It came back, stronger than ever. Only now, I was busier and sleep-deprived. It was a terrible mix of circumstances and emotion. I was in real trouble...

My husband finally stepped in and took over. At my lowest point, he found me sobbing on the bathroom floor. I couldn't even vocalize what I was thinking or feeling. He didn't try to hug me or talk to me or give me advice. He sat down with me, opened his Bible and started reading. I know it was something from Ephesians, but for the life of me I cannot remember which passage. Somehow, the words were soothing. After awhile, I stopped crying and he put his hands on me and prayed. Later, after the kids were tucked in, he gently asked me if I was spending time with the Lord. I couldn't look at him or even answer. Silent tears streamed down my face and he knew the answer. We prayed again and he read more scripture to me.

A few days later, I happened to be on the phone with my dear sister, Lyn. Somehow, (of course it was the Lord!) we ended up talking about how things were going, spiritually speaking. I ended up crying and confessing to her that I was not really following after the Lord with any real intention. I had a hard time finding the words, but she ministered to my heart. She accepted my confession and led me in prayer of repentance. She then invited me to start attending a weekly Bible study with a few other women. I was hesitant to go, but she insisted I speak with Charlie about it. Charlie practically beamed when I casually mentioned the study. He was all too eager to take the girls on and give me the opportunity to be in the Word and in fellowship with other women!

That was over a year ago and I can confidently say that the Lord has lifted the dark clouds of depression. That's not to say that I don't have days or even strings of days when I feel "depressed" or "down." But, now, I recognize those times as times when I am out of fellowship with the Lord or when I am trying to cover over some spiritual ugliness.

"I will rejoice greatly in the Lord, My soul will exalt in my God; for He has clothed me with garments of salvation, He has wrapped me with a robe of righteousness..." Isaiah 61:10a

Like the wallpaper covering the broken wall, we can also cover over our sins with a pretty attitude. But, there, lurking beneath the surface is ugly sin, keeping us out of fellowship with the Lord. We have a choice: keep up the wallpaper, the false pretenses, the false attitude of happiness, or, we can allow God to have complete access to us. If we choose to allow God that access, we can be certain He will bring into light our sin, our ugly walls in desperate need of repair. Then, He will go to work diligently repairing our hearts, restoring fellowship, lightening our load, bringing us joy. The choice is ours, but the work is His.

God, I love that about You, that You would want to do the work of restoration in my heart. I love that You are always reaching out for me, wanting to bring me closer to You. Thank You for giving me a desire to be righteous. Forgive me for the many, many times that I have attempted to cover over my sin with something spiritually ugly. Thank You for the blood of Jesus that covers me. In Your Holy Name, Amen

When We All Get To Heaven--Part 2

I wrote a few weeks ago about a conversation I had with my girls about what heaven will be like. (Read it here.) Since then, they have been obsessed with how fast we will all get to heaven. They argue back and forth about how quick our transition will be from earthly life to heavenly glory:



Ruthie: It will be this fast--zoom! (jumping off the coffee table)

Emma: No, it will be faster, like this--ZOOM! (spinning around and falling down)

Ruthie: It will be fast like this--schloom! (running through the kitchen)

Emma: No, like this, Ruthie--Whee! (spinning around in the office chair)

Ruthie: It will be faster than this--zip! (rolling across the floor)

Emma: Ruthie, that isn't fast at all.

Ruthie: Oh.



Emma: It's gonna be so fast we can't show it. Like the wink of my eye (wink, wink, blink, blink).

Ruthie: Yeah, like the clap of my hands (clap, clap).

Olivia: Blink! Clap! Jesus is fast!



Emma and Ruthie: giggles



Olivia: Jesus go Zoom! Whee! Fly to Jesus!





Thank You, Jesus, that we will be with you soon. Thanks for making a place for me and for all who believe in You. Thank You that our transition from here to where You are will be so quick, so smooth. Thank You for being my Savior and Friend. Thank You for my girls and for the way they see things. In Your precious name, Amen.

Extreme Makeover: Henze Edition

We are remodeling our house.

Let me re-phrase that, we're attempting to remodel our house! What started as replacing the roof on our house has grown into adding gutters, storm doors, stripping wallpaper, painting every room of the house, moving furniture, patching cracks in the ceilings, ripping up carpeting, refinishing floors, and basically turning our entire house upside down and inside out. While I'm excited about the end result, the process is causing anxiety on my part. Our home is over 100 years old and nothing is ever easy in an old home. Every repair is harder and more costly than originally planned. The plaster walls look hideous without the wallpaper, nothing is "square" in the house, I'm horrible at choosing coordinating colors, and our once fairly organized home looks as if monkeys are in charge! The girls' absolute favorite TV show (and the only one we let them watch, in fact) is Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. They love to hear the stories of the families and see the houses demolished and rebuilt. They have been calling our efforts the "Home Makeover Show." Their only concern was that we might be tearing down the house...that, and could we go to Disney World, too, please?

I was feeling frustrated today at the little scraps of wallpaper that keep floating through the air, sticking to everything. And, the jumbled piles of "stuff" that keep moving from one horizontal surface to another. And, the ugly cracks on the walls and the smell of wallpaper adhesive and old carpeting. And, my aching arms and back. And, the endless list of things yet to do before we can actually paint or lay down flooring. My head was swirling with the details of a project much larger than anticipated. Overwhelmed was an understatement.

Then, I got this picture...you know, one of those "I want to show you something, dear Jen, so let me use what you are experiencing to show you a glimpse of Me" kind of pictures. I saw my life like my house....let me explain.

When we purchased our home, we knew the previous owners fairly well. They were a pastor family, our pastor family, in fact. This was the first home I was invited to when I first moved here. The family was lovely and this house very much reflected their personalities. After we bought the house, we left everything "as is." We added our own "garage sale" and "early attic" furniture and hung our own pictures on the walls and called it home. That worked just fine for a bit. Then, we began to add some little people to our lives and our home no longer reflected who we are. Our lives have changed a great deal in the seven years since we moved into our house. It doesn't match how we live or who God has called us to be. It's no longer comfortable. So, we're making necessary repairs and changes. Our home is being transformed into a place that reflects the Henzes and the blessings God has given to us.

My life, lately, is a lot like my house. God loved me just exactly as I was when I fell at his feet 17 years ago. But, I'm a different person now. God has done wonderful, marvelous things in my life to transform me into a person who (hopefully) is beginning to reflect Jesus. The thing is, though, I have to let God come in and tear things off my walls, patch up the cracks, replace things that are worn out. I have to let Him have His way with this temple. If I don't, it isn't the home He intended it to be.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God and that you are not your own?" 1 Corinthians 6:19

"Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?" 1 Corinthians 3:16

Lately, the Lord has been showing me that I've been resisting the work He must do in my heart to make me, His temple, worthy of housing the Holy Spirit. I don't like that about myself, but praise God that He has lovingly pointed out this area of weakness and sin. Yep, sin is a big word here, but that's exactly what it is to resist God's work in your heart. If I am not actively allowing God to build me up, I am, by default, actively participating in tearing down the temple of the Holy Spirit.

"If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are." 1 Corinthians 3:17

It's a big thought...being the holy temple of God. In the Old Testament, we see how important the temple of Israel was to God. Several chapters and books give detailed accounting of how the temple was to be built, what materials were to be used, where certain elements were to be placed in relationship to each other, and who could and could not be in service to the temple. But, these were all a foreshadowing of the holy temple God would create in each of us.

"...for the temple is not for man, but for the Lord God." 1 Chronicles 29:1

God always intended the temple of our hearts to be His dwelling place alone. He will not make His home there if He cannot reign alone, unchallenged.

So, here I am, just like my house; jumbled, things out of place, ugly walls exposed, dirty floors being ripped up, false paper facades coming down. It's not what I would call a temple "fit for a King." But, the funny thing is, I can already sense that the Lord has greater latitude. Even being the mess that I am, being willing and pliable in my Master's hands is so freeing and pleasing to the Lord. I really do want Jesus to rule and reign in my heart...it's the process that is painful.

But, come Lord Jesus, and make my heart clean! Cleanse me and make me righteous. Have Your way...Your will be done. I trust You and believe that You work all things for my ultimate and everlasting good. I give You my heart anew. Make your dwelling place in me and make me into all that You desire me to be. In Your precious name, Amen.

Recipe: Roasted Eggplant

For those of you who care to try something a liitle different with your family this weekend, try this recipe. I adapted it from a recipe I found in my favorite cooking magazine, Fine Cooking. My Ruthie loved it and Charlie is a huge fan of eggplant. Enjoy!

Roasted Eggplant
Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Line 2-3 cookie sheets with parchment paper and brush with olive oil--I used flavored olive oil. Peel eggplant and trim off ends. Slice eggplant into 1/4 inch pieces. Place eggplant on oiled parchment paper. Brush tops with olive oil--again, I used flavored oil. Sprinkle with salt and herbs, if desired. Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. You may have to cook the eggplant in batches. Eat while still warm and enjoy!

Alternatives: Instead of salt and herbs, you can sprinkle the top with parmesan cheese. Also, you can stack the eggplant on top of a thin slice of bread and top with tomatoe slices and thin slices of mozzarella or provolone cheese...delicious!

A.W. Tozer's Rules for Self-Discovery

Recently, I found my copy of "The Pursuit of God" by A.W. Tozer. I've been through this 31 day study before but not since having children. (Nothing like having three rug rats to re-define your perspective on life!) At the close of Day 6, is one of several powerful prayers and a list of rules for self-discovery. The premise of Day 6 is that it is of vital importance for me to understand who I am in the eyes of my Lord and Savior if I have any hope at all of pursuing Him fully. I found this list to be challenging as well as hopeful. Challenging in that I have been discovering that my priorities seem to be out of whack right now. Hopeful because I can look back at the time in my life when I first went through this study and see that God has grown me so much (PTL!).

Here is the list as well as the prayer. May God bless each of you in your pursuits as well!

Rules for Self-Discovery
What do I want most?
What do I think about most?
How do I use my money?
What do I do with my leisure time?
Whose company do I enjoy?
Who and what do I admire?
What do I laugh at?

Father, I want to know Thee, but my cowardly heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then Thou shalt make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Being Fruitful

This is a picture of not-quite ripe cherry tomatoes from our garden. The picture was taken over a month ago and we have since enjoyed the delicious fruit of this plant. I was looking at this picture today and thinking that God designed all of us to do what this little plant is doing. He made us to produce fruit. Some of us are meant to be prolific and some of us are meant to work our entire lives to produce one, solitary fruit. Whatever His specific design, we all share a common goal: fruit-bearing. Here are some questions I'm asking myself and you, too, can ponder. I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Am I bearing the fruit God intended me to bear? If not, why not?

Are there any "weeds" (sin) in my life preventing me from bearing fruit?

Am I allowing God to water and feed me in the Word and prayer so my fruit can be as big and healthy as possible?

Am I allowing God to be the Master Gardener in my life, trusting His pruning and care fully?

Thank You, God, for reminding me to abide in You. Keep me weed-free, pruned and able to bear fruit. Use me for what You designed. I'm wholly Yours. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Happy Birthday, My Sweet Ruthie!

Little Ruthie is 4 years old today! Happy birthday, my sweet, singing girl...

may God bless you all through the day!