Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Juggler

I've had this string of "good mom" days. You know, the kind of days when you do things "right." You get dinner on the table on time, complete with vegetables and whole grains. You remember your vitamins. The laundry gets washed, dried, folded, and put away. The dishes get washed. The trash is taken out. Books are read and stories are told. Disputes are reconciled and tickle sessions are spontaneous. Laughter reigns through the house. There are fresh sheets on the beds, fresh fruit in the fridge and fresh faces at the start of each day. These are the kind of days when I feel like a successful juggler, with all the balls whirling and twirling in sync above my head.

Then, I play the message on the answering machine and am reminded that tomorrow is picture day at preschool. Okay, so I forgot one little ball. No problem. It's 10:00 PM but I still have time to iron the girls' dresses for pictures. Now, where is that order form they sent home for the pictures? And, they are supposed to stay for lunch tomorrow, too, so I need to pack their lunches as well. Let's see, Emma likes turkey, cheese and tomato, Ruthie likes turkey and lettuce and her cheese on the side. As I'm gathering things for pre-school tomorrow, I spy the library book bag and realize the books are due in a couple of days. We haven't finished our chapter book and they will be upset if we don't do that. Only 3 more chapters; I think I can squeeze one in tomorrow morning. I flip on the TV to check the weather only to find out that it's going to rain like crazy tomorrow and the next day. Didn't I see toys scattered in the yard when I came home tonight? Better pick those up. I head out to the yard to attempt cleaning it up in the dark. When I come inside, I remember that I'm supposed to check my e-mail for an important prayer request. While I'm online, I see that I have several e-mails that need returned. Which ones can wait and which ones need attention tonight? Wow, I've really let some of these slide. Now, it's almost midnight and I've got a whole pile of balls at my feet. So much for my juggling skills...

At least that's what the enemy wants me to think. He wants me to think that I have it in my own power to be a good mom. Well, I don't. Let me say that again: I don't. The fact is, it is God alone who allows me to accomplish His will. It is God alone who equips me well to love and care for these little girls and this wonderful man. On my own, I contribute nothing of any value except a willing heart. To be sure, I often get in the way of God's will. There are "bad mom" days when we eat hot dogs for dinner and scrounge through the dirty clothes basket for something that doesn't smell "as bad." When the kids fight and I fight and there are lots of tears. When we're lucky to have sheets on beds at all. When I juggle my emotions instead of my responsibilities.

It's nights like tonight when the Lord reminds me that He is in control:

O God, You are more awesome than Your holy places. The God of Israel is He who gives strength and power to His people. Psalm 68:35

God doesn't have to juggle to keep things in control. He is control. He gives me strength and power to accomplish His will. It isn't my job to keep all the balls up in the air. It's my job to abide in Him and in His Word and let those balls line up with God's will.

So, I'll get a good night's rest and trust that God is working all things for good. He knows the details of my future and has a plan in place that will take care of those details. Thank You, Lord, for giving me the freedom to rest in You and allow You to take care of the details of my life. I trust in You alone and ask You to give me Your strength and Your power to accomplish Your will. In Jesus' name, Amen.


Ann said...

Thanks, Jen. I definitely need that one right now--balls are all over the floor :)

Ann said...

Thanks, Jen. I definitely need that one tonight--the balls are all over the floor, and the probability of me picking them up is low :)