Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Things I Cannot Blog About...

Writing, for me, is an act of obedience, an act of worship. An offering to the One who is always at work in my heart, in my mind, in my life. A stumbling, bumbling effort by me, imperfect, to reveal the perfection He is and the perfecting He is doing. It is my awkward way of trying to capture His movement, like still photos--blurry and out of focus, to be sure--but, glimpses into the awesome; the glorious.

But, there are things I cannot write about that He is working in me. Words that I can only exchange with the One who first formed the words on my tongue. Emotions that erupt uncontrollably in my heart, spewing their hot ash into the atmosphere of my home. Thoughts that flash without warning, like lightning lighting the night sky and exposing bare what should be left to the secret covering of darkness. Experiences that are uniquely my own, but put into words, would devastate another, betray a confidence, serve to stumble one who is not yet led by Light, sentence another to judgment by all. There are things I cannot--must not--put into written word, even in secret. This, too, is an act of obedience, an act of worship. It is God working in me Love's control over my heart, disciplining me in His ways for me. Not a universal for all, but non-negotiable for me. It is born out of desire to please the One who gave Himself in love for me to make me free from the tyranny of sin and self. Out of the desire to be moved from philos to Agape...

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8a (emphasis mine)

Lord, make me like You. In whatever manner You choose, transform me into Your image. Allow me to please You in all I do. Make my heart pure and clean. Keep a guard about my words and my mouth. Thank You for loving all of me...In Jesus' Name, Amen.